You Gotta Have Faif

You saw my posts on bribery/positive reinforcement and how well it worked for me. And you know that I am desperate for suggestions to help Allen behave at the meetings. I have done some research and a lot of praying, and Brian and I decided that we would "play" meeting today while we studied for book study, and that we would not mention the potential reward until after he exhibited the good behavior.

So we studied for the meeting together. We had some disruptions, but eventually he sat on Mommy's lap and was pretty quiet. During the preparation, I asked him if he wanted to answer, but he declined to do so.

However, after a reward, a hearty dinner, and a bath, he decided that he did want to raise his hand at the meeting. We had discussed two possible answers, and he decided that he wanted to say "faith" (or, as Allen says it, faif). We said OK, and then we didn't push it too much, because we don't want to put more pressure than necessary on him.

We got to the book study, and while he was not angelic, it was a drastic improvement from last Monday. When we got to the appropriate paragraph, I asked him if he was ready to raise his hand. He didn't really respond, but when he heard the brother read the word "faith" he whispered it (twice). So as we neared the end of the paragraph, we sat him on Daddy's lap, and told him to get ready (this also provided some distraction for him from the inappropriate behavior he was starting to display).

When "Coni" asked the question, Daddy helped him raise his hand, and Allen waved his little fingers. Right away, "Coni" said, "Allen" and Allen whispered, "faif." We whispered, "Say it out loud." So he whisper-yelled, "Faaaif." Then we told him again to say it loud, and he said (kind of yelled), "FAIF."

I have never been so proud in my entire life. It was heart-warming. He was proud of himself. The book study group was proud of him. We were proud of him. And I know Jehovah was proud of him.

I've learned a lesson in all of this, (or rather, been reminded of something). If you have faith, Jehovah can help you with anything. Allen may not have been perfect tonight, but he was much better than usual, and he answered!!!!

On that fabulous note, I bid you goodnight.

xoxo,

I hate Gummy Bears

So remember my Bribery post from a couple days ago? How excited I was by my brilliant plan to use bribery (or positive reinforcement) to help train Allen to behave at meetings? Well, we tried it today at the meeting. It didn't work so well. In fact, the whole plan kinda blew up in my face.

We spent the entire first half of the meeting sobbing. Daddy tried to calm him down. Mommy tried to calm him down. Nothing worked. Finally Allen decided that he could go to the seat and sing the song. So I gave him a few gummy bears since he calmed himself down. Then he lost it again because he wanted the rest of the gummy bears. It took me another 15 minutes to calm him down from that episode. When we finally got back to the seat, he had missed his opportunity to raise his hand to answer "Noah." Though when someone else did, his eyes lit up, and he look at me and whispered "Noah!" At least he was listening.

For the remainder of the Watchtower he did pretty well. But then during the final song, he started messing around in Nana's purse. Therefore, during he prayer, he was not behaving (and was making noise opening and closing her eye glass case). As soon as we tried to pull him away, he screamed. I had to practically run out of the auditorium into the bathroom.

Needless to say, I was exhausted after the meeting. Utterly exhausted. So, loyal readers (all four or five of you), do you have any suggestions for how we can help Allen behave during the meetings? I welcome -- even plead for -- your suggestions.

xoxo,



P.S. I apologize for the lack of photos. I tried to post them, but Blogger is not letting me.

Bribery

The kid has actually been pretty darn delightful for the past few days. We kinda hit rock bottom on Monday, as far as the Terrible Twos go. Book study was a nightmare. Daddy ended up missing the last 10 or 15 minutes of it because Allen was so naughty. He screamed randomly; ran away from Nana -- and when she caught him screamed (during book study) "LET GO!"; and blatantly tested both Daddy and me. This was in spite of numerous rounds of discipline (by both parents). I was utterly exhausted and distraught by Tuesday morning. I really just didn't know what to do. I prayed about it, and did some research, and came up with a new idea ...

Bribery. OK, well maybe not blatant, outright bribery. To be proper, I should probably call it positive reinforcement or something like that. But basically, for those times when we know he could be challenging (diaper changing, tubby time, meetings, dinner) we tell him that if he is a good boy and does such and such, he will get a surprise. The surprise is a combination of candy gummy bears and these:

Allen calls them teddy bears, and he LOVES them. It's actually been working so far this week. Unfortunately, since we were under the weather tonight, we didn't get to try it for meeting tonight. But we will definitely be trying it out on Sunday.

Call it what you will ... but this approach really seems to be working. He's been changing his attitude much more quickly, and we're having fewer actual meltdowns. Of course, we're also trying to talk him through his frustrations and to comfort him as much as we can as well. Maybe I'm naive, but I think it could be working.

xoxo,