Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Isn't he too young?

This morning on our way to school, Allen informed me that a boy at school (but not in his class) was knocking him down at recess. Through the discussion, Allen explained that this boy did not want to be friends with him -- had no interest in that -- he just insisted on knocking Allen down. He also told me that if he and one of his friends were playing together, they were able to knock this boy down.

I explained that he should tell the boy he couldn't be friends with him if he kept doing that. And that it wasn't right for he and his friend to push him down. That we should treat others the way we want to be treated.

He didn't quite seem satisfied. He proceed to ask me to come to his class with him and come with him to recess so I could see this boy.

I did stay in his class for awhile as he showed me several works. Once he seemed comforted and secure, I left. His teacher and I had a brief discussion, and she assured me that she's aware of the situation. And when Nana picked him up from school, his teacher assured her that he had a good day.

But then tonight at bedtime, he told me that the boy pushed him down again. I asked him if he told him to stop, and he said no. Then he said that I should come with him to school all day, so that I could help him (and protect him) from this boy.

Boy does the Mama Bear in me want to give this child a piece of my mind! But I know that's not the solution. What do I do? How do I handle this in the way that is best for Allen? Help!!


PS Photo from here.


Hannah said...

I'm not a mom (obviously), but I do know that what happened to me when I was little and how I dealt with it still affect me now. If Allen can learn at this age how to stand up for himself in a firm, respectful way, that's a life skill he'll use for the rest of his life. I'm sure of that. You'll figure out the right thing to do, I know you will. :) What about reviewing something applicable in the Great Teacher book before school?

Allegra said...

I agree wholeheartedly, Hannah. Standing up for myself has never been something that has come easily for me, and I was just admiring your mom's ability yesterday when she told me about her experience with the mean dentist. I found an article in an Awake from a few years ago, as well as a chapter in the YPA2 book that I think we'll go over. Meantime, his teacher seems to have taken care of it, and there was no bullying today :) I definitely want to teach him to speak up for himself though!

KMag said...

I agree with Hannah. Try role playing with him, too. Let him practice what he'll say to this boy...including that he'll get an adult if he doesn't stop. I know you don't want him to be a tattle-tale, but bullying isn't okay. As a teacher, I wanted to know that this was happening on my watch.

Colleen said...

Here's a good book that might help:

King of the Playground

Allegra said...

thanks Colleen!

lori said...

i appreciated everything that hannah and kristen said. what wise women! it's great that you found some information to share with allen, allegra. i am glad that there was no bullying the next day. lately i have been trying to view everything that happens as an opportunity. it helps me to realize that in each situation there is always a lesson and a chance for growth. i think that is a good way to look at life, and it can especially help children because they are constantly experiencing new things.

Allegra said...

my wise Lori! Yes, I agree. Every situation is a learning opportunity, and that's what we're trying to keep in mind. Kristen wants me to yell at you for being up so late, though :)